Filmmaker

Film is a powerful medium. With the right script under your arm and a staff of eager team players, you’re about to begin an exciting ride. The single most important thing that goes into making a successful film is the passion to tell a story. And the best way to tell your stories is with pictures. Filmmaking is visual storytelling in the form of shots that make up scenes and scenes that eventually make up a complete film. As a filmmaker, you have the power to affect people’s emotions, make them see things differently, help them discover new ideas, or just create an escape for them. In a darkened theater, you have an audience’s undivided attention. They’re yours — entertain them, move them, make them laugh, make them cry. You can’t find a more powerful medium to express yourself. Nowadays many studio films are based on comic book superheroes (Hulk, Batman, Spiderman), popular TV shows (Get Smart, Sex in the City), best selling books (the Harry Potter series), high concept (unique ideas that have commercial appeal like Jurassic Park, or Journey to the Center of the Earth), and/or big name stars (Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks). Its easy to become a filmmaker, essential thing required is interest and involvement and understanding and grasping capability.

Melbourne radio joke

This story occurred on Melbourne radio recently.


One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their
spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the
answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali.
Last week the competition went like this:

Presenter: Gidday its FOX-FM, do you want to play the game? 

Brian: Yeah, sure. 

Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? 

Brian: Ohhh, maaaate. Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. 

Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian? 

Brian: Orrrrr .... about 10 minutes 

Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it mate? 

Brian: Ohhhh maaaaate, I can't say that. 

Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian! 

Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. 

Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one 

Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? 

Brian: Yeah, alright 

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? 

Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks 

Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line,say hello. 

Sharelle: Hi Brian. 

Brian: Hi Sharelle 

Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. 

Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. 

Sharelle: O.K. 

Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex? 

Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio. 

Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. 

Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work. 

Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question.
How long did it go for Sharelle? 

Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. 

Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. 

Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question.
Where did you do it? 

Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no 

Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. 

Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway just tell em. 

Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the arse! 

Instant Radio Silence. Advert. 

Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before, we're going live here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break.

Chess in seventeenth century

In the Seventeenth Century Chess flourished mostly in Italy, which consequently produced the strongest players. Some of them traveled throughout Europe, challenging the best players of the other countries and for the most part emerging victorious. At that time Chess was in high esteem, especially at the courts of the kings who followed the example of Philip the Second of Spain in honoring the traveling masters and rewarding them liberally for their exhibition matches. Towards the beginning of the Eighteenth Century the game reached a high stage of development in France, England and Germany. The most famous master of the time was the Frenchman, Andre Philidor, who for more than forty years easily maintained his supremacy over all players with whom he came in contact, and whose fame has evolved.  Since then, he has been equaled only by the American Champion, Paul Morphy, and by the German, Emanuel Lasker. During the Eighteenth and Nineteenth Centuries the number of players who obtained international fame increased rapidly, and in 1851, due to the efforts of the English Champion Staunton, an international tournament was held in London to determine the championship of Europe. It was won by the German master Anderssen, who maintained his leading place for the following fifteen years, until he was beaten by the youthful Morphy. The latter, at twenty years of age, was the first American master to visit Europe and defeated in brilliant style all European masters whom he met. Morphy withdrew from the game after his return to America and did not try to match himself with the Bohemian Steinitz, who in the meantime had beaten Anderssen, too, and who had come to America.

Newly weds joke

A 75-year-old tycoon and his 22-year-old bride were on their way from the wedding reception to the honeymoon suite at the Plaza.

Suddenly he had a tremendous heart attack.

Paramedics labored furiously over his frail body as the ambulance rushed across town.

The tycoon's pulse remained feeble and erratic, however, one of the medics turned to the young bride.

"How about giving your husband a few words of encouragement?

I think he could use them," he suggested.

"Okay," she agreed with a shrug, leaning toward the stretcher.

"Honey, I hope you perk up real fast.

I'm so horny I'm ready to hop on one of these cute guys in white."

Imaging and radio acquisition (propeller)

Sampling data using the conventional Cartesian technique, with line-by-line sampling of k-space, results in artifacts associated with phase and frequency encoding. Chemical shift results in artifact in the frequency-encoded direction, and motion results in artifact in the phase-encoded direction. Other methods that sample the central and peripheral regions of k-space simultaneously, rather than sequentially in a grid, radio acquisition  can reduce these artifacts. Other patterns or trajectories of k-space sampling include radial, spiral, and PROPELLER imaging. PROPELLER fast spin-echo  is a radial k-space filling technique. A range of ultra-low-resolution images are acquired, one per repetition time, with as many phase-encoding steps as echoes in the echo train length (ETL). Each of these scans corresponds to a different rotational direction within the scan plane. Since the data are collected in a series of rectangular strips, serially rotating around central k-space, central k-space is repeatedly sampled. The data set looks like a freeze-frame photograph of a rotating propeller, with the hub located in the center of k-space. Data reconstruction then combines these different data collections in the image domain and corrects or even rejects (based on relative phase information) data acquisitions that are degraded by motion. The resulting final image is relatively free of motion artifact imaging and radio acquisition. Also, of particular benefit to musculoskeletal imaging, radial scanning produces fully isotropic in-plane resolution with no frequency and phase direction. Consequently, chemical shift radio acquisition and pulsatile flow artifacts are diffused across the whole image plane, so these artifacts are far less discernible than with Cartesian imaging

Nursing Joke

A man received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully-grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, extremely rude

The man tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything that came to mind.

Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, the bird got worse.

He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and exceedingly rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer.

For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet.

The man was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto the man's extended arm and said: "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness. I will try to improve my behavior."

The man was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "...May I ask what the chicken did?"

WRONG BROTHER

A wealthy gentleman has a brother who is hard of hearing, while he himself is remarkable for having a very prominent nose.

Once, this gentleman dined at a friend's house, where he sat between two young ladies who talked to him very loudly, rather to his annoyance.

Finally one of them shouted a commonplace remark and then said in an ordinary tone to the other:

"Did you ever see such an ugly nose?"

"Pardon me, ladies," said the gentleman. "It is my brother who is deaf."

Adam and Eve joke

Eve was talking with God in the Garden of Eden, and she said, "God I have a problem. It's a beautiful garden, but I'm lonely and I'm sick of eating apples."

"Okay. I'll create a man for you."

"What's a man?" "He's a creature with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego who doesn't listen and gets lost a lot, but he's big and strong, he can open jars and hunt animals and he's fun in bed."

"Sounds great!"

"There's just one other thing. He's going to want to believe I made him first."

Adam and Eve joke

Eve was talking with God in the Garden of Eden, and she said, "God I have a problem. It's a beautiful garden, but I'm lonely and I'm sick of eating apples."

"Okay. I'll create a man for you."

"What's a man?" "He's a creature with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego who doesn't listen and gets lost a lot, but he's big and strong, he can open jars and hunt animals and he's fun in bed."

"Sounds great!"

"There's just one other thing. He's going to want to believe I made him first."

Chess tricks and useful tactics

Thus, Chess serves a good purpose for young and old. The boy will find it a fascinating pastime and, unconsciously sharpening his wits in playing the game, will acquire a fine preparation for his calling in life, no matter what it may be. For the man and the woman too, Chess is well worth learning, as it will prove the best companion in hours of leisure. The reason why many people hesitate to learn the game and to teach it to their children is that Chess has been misrepresented as a game which is very difficult to master. This false impression has been created mainly by the wrong methods of teaching usually employed. The majority of writers on Chess deal with a maze of variations and they expect the reader to memorize the moves with which to parry the maneuvers of the opponent, instead of simply developing a few common sense principles which are easy to grasp and perfectly sufficient to make a good player of any one. This is really the great advantage of the game of Chess over any other board game that it lends itself to the application of general principles, so that any one can grasp and enjoy it without memorizing more than the rules according to which the men move. I have tried to develop these principles in a simple way so that they are sure to be easily understood, and I have been greatly aided in my task by Miss Helen Dvorak and Mr. Eugene Fuller, who, without any previous knowledge of the game, have learned it in reading this article. They have given me many valuable hints in pointing out all that did not seem readily intelligible to the mind of the beginner. In explaining the game of Checkers, to which the second part of the book is devoted, I have also tried to develop general principles of strategy, rather than to offer a mere classification of analyzed lines of play, which the reader would have to memorize in order to be able to compete with experts. I was fortunate enough to secure the collaboration of the Checker Champion, Alfred Jordan, who enthusiastically adopted the new idea of teaching and furnished most of the material which I have used in illustrating the vital points of the game.

Lawyer, Doctor joke

A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain.

The doctor then asked, "What type of brain do you want?"

"What type?" the woman asked.

"Yes," replied the doctor. "There is a substantial difference in price.

For example, a one-pound brain of a surgeon costs $60,000, while you can get a one-pound brain of a nuclear physicist for $50,000, and so on.

"Can you give me a one-pound lawyer's brain? Ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of being a trial attorney."

"That's $250,000," the doctor replied.

"Why so much? the woman asked. "That's over four times what a surgeon's brain costs."

"Do you have any idea how many lawyers it takes to produce a pound of brain?" the doctor replied

Why Microsoft shouldn't make cars

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.


2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.


3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.


4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.


5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy
more seats.


6. Macintosh would make a car that's powered by the sun, more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.


7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.


8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.


9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.


10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.


11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.


12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.


13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.

Using gadget in medical field

Conventional MR studies are acquired by the serial application of encoding gradients across the field of view (FOV) using a single radiofrequency (RF) coil. The resulting signals received by the RF coil provide data corresponding to the spatial frequency or Fourier components of the object being imaged. Each component of the data, one of a large number of sinusoidal intensity oscillations with specific spatial frequencies, is associated with a particular point in k-space. The central region of k-space, consisting of low-spatial-frequency data, contains information about the gross structure and contrast of an image, most of the information required to produce an MR image. The peripheral portion of k-space, consisting of high-spatial-frequency data, contains information about image detail. Data is usually acquired in a 2D or 3D Cartesian rectangular grid in k-space, moving from one end of k-space to the other, collecting data in sequential parallel lines. An additional line of k-space data in the frequency-encoding direction is serially collected during each acquisition, while sequential lines in the phase-encoding direction are acquired at regular intervals.

Technical Advances in Musculoskeletal Imaging

Musculoskeletal MR imaging presents unique technological challenges. Although peripheral joints offer intrinsic rich soft tissue contrast the anatomy is often complex, with small structures, many of which course in oblique planes. High-resolution imaging of the small-scale anatomy of menisci, labra, carpal bones, and articular cartilage demand 2D multislice sequences with in-plane resolution of at least 0.5 mm (preferably 0.2 to 0.3 mm), with a slice thickness of 1 to 3 mm .The many soft tissue interfaces inherent to musculoskeletal anatomy and morphology also present challenges to successful imaging. Changes in magnetic susceptibility can occur at the interfaces between cartilage, cortical bone, and bone marrow. Therefore the Musculoskeletal Imaging whose Technical Advances, when placed in a magnetic field, these interfaces generate abrupt changes in local magnetic field gradients, creating a faster signal decay due to spin-spin dephasing (T2*). In addition, patients may have metallic prostheses or postsurgical metallic debris, which produce additional magnetic susceptibility artifacts.Fat, both in subcutaneous tissues and bone mar row, may also present imaging problems. The hyperintense signal of fat on conventional T1-weighted and proton density-weighted sequences can ob scure underlying pathology. In addition, at fat-water in terfaces, there may be a chemical shift artifact that degrades images. Finally, musculoskeletal soft tis sues have relatively short T2 relaxation times due to their highly organized molecular structure in fiber networks. The T2 relaxation of tendons and ligaments is in the range of a few milliseconds (msec) Technical Advances; that of cartilage is 10 to 30 msec. These structures also show a significant variation in T2 relaxation based on their physical orientation to the main magnetic field. When fibers form an angle of 55 degrees from the main magnetic field, T2 time be comes longer, generating a hyperintense signal.

REALITY joke

A man, who is the father of a year-old youngster, met his pastor on Sunday afternoon.

"Why weren't you at church this morning?" was the first question of the spiritual adviser.

"I couldn't come," was the answer. "I had to stop at home and mind the baby; our nurse is ill."

[Pg 332]

"That's no excuse," said the pastor.

"It isn't? Well, next Sunday I'll bring him to church with me and see how you like it."

Best reasons

Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.

Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms.

Needles: It's better to give than to receive.

Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops....eventually.

Expose yourself to rare, exotic, & exciting new diseases.

Interesting aromas.

Do enough charting to navigate around the world.

Celebrate the holidays with all your friends.....at work.

Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

Courteous & infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.

psychiatric jokes

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

The second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

"Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Chess, game of logics (as in real war)

The troops are first mobilized and made ready for action with utmost speed, then important positions are occupied which give the troops freedom of action and insure safe lines of retreat and, finally, when the formation of the enemy is known, the strategic plan is made which the generals try to carry out by means of different tactical maneuvers. Considering this similarity of Chess and war it is not surprising that Chess has gained greatly in popularity among all those whose work or thought is more than superficially influenced by the present war. No special inducement, however, would be necessary to learn the game, were it more generally known that great advantage is to be derived from the study of Chess, quite apart from the cultivation of strategic ability. The faculty which is developed by playing Chess is useful wherever logical thinking and concentration are needed, and it cannot be denied that these qualities are most desirable in the every day struggle in which mental work has so largely superseded manual labor. The thoughtful playing of the game not only cultivates the logical quality and imaginative power of the mind but also tends to develop strength of character. It teaches us not to be hasty in our decisions, but to exercise foresight at all times as we must abide by all consequences of our actions. Moreover, we learn from it circumspection which causes us to survey the whole scene of action and does not allow us to lose ourselves in detail; we also learn not to be discouraged by reverses in our affairs but to hold out and always search for fresh resources. 

Divorce joke

A guy slices his ball in the woods and goes in to look for it. He meets a girl from the next fairway looking for her ball. They start to chat and have a wonderful little conversation. She suddenly says to him, " You know... you look like my third husband. "He says, "Oh yeah?", and then asks her how many times she's been married. "Twice," she replies.

Health Joke

You Might Have Estrogen Issues If . . . . . .

Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-***-."

Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Hilarious Doctor Jokes

These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital...

=> I am under the doctor and cannot breathe.
=> I can't walk to the bus stop and my wife is bent.
=> I can't breathe and haven't done so for many years.
=> I want transport as bus drivers do funny things to me and make me feel queer.
=> I am blind in one eye and my leg.
=> I live five miles from the hospital and the postman says I should have it.
=> I have got arthritis and heart failure in both feet and knees.
=> I must have a man as I cannot go out or do up my suspenders.
=> I cannot walk up a hill unless it is down and the hill to the hospital is up.
=> My husband is dead and will not bring me.
=> I cannot drive a car as I have not got one.
=> I hope you will send a man as my husband is quite useless.
=> I can come at any time to suit you, but not mornings as I don't feel too good. I can't come on Mondays or Wednesdays as the home help comes, and not on Fridays as the baker calls for his money. I can't come on Tuesdays as my sister calls.

Forbidden love JOKE

They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.
She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance. She wished he would take her in his arms, comfort her, protect her from the storm, she wanted that....
Then the power went out. She screamed. He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He did not hesitate to pull her into his arms.
He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on, as did their growing passion.... There came a moment when each knew they had to be together.
They knew it was wrong... their families would not understand ... but... so consumed in their passion, they didn't hear the door open... the click of the light switch ... the power was back on, and.............
CAUGHT..........

Be Careful - How You Handle Ethernet Cables

                                       

The RJ-45 modular connectors you find on 10/100Base-T Ethernet cables are potential static electricity problems. If you have one end plugged into a computer or switch, but the other end isn’t connected, that open end is a direct path for static electricity to the sensitive electronics at the other end. The cable jacket is always insulated, so it doesn’t drain away the static charge. However, if you pick up the cable and even brush against the exposed contacts, any built-up charge goes straight down the cable. We’ve seen many switch ports fail from just this sort of accident, so pay attention when you’re connecting and disconnecting Ethernets. We’re well aware that millions of people have opened their PCs, inserted or removed components, closed them up, and had nothing untoward happen (or, latent damage being what it is, nothing happen right then). Nevertheless, we’re not making this up, and we’re not alone in what we say. Consider the following:

1.) Intel advises its customers about ESD at www.intel.com/design/packtech/ch_06.pdf

(among others; search the Intel Web site for ESD).

2.) Gateway Computers warns about ESD and offers guidelines on how to prevent damage at

support.gateway.com/s/Mobile/SHARED/SoloESD.shtml.

3.) The United States Marine Corps Aviation Training Branch training on ESD is at www.tecom. usmc.mil/atb/MATMEP/MS%20Word%20Lesson%20guide%20PDF%20files/Lg13.pdf.

4.) NASA provides a general description of their ESD protection requirements at workmanshnasa.gov/lib/insp/2%20books/links/sections/11-01%20General%20Requirements

.html.

5.) www.esda.org/ is the web site of the Electrostatic Discharge Association (ESDA).

Cat and fish joke

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."